It does not get any more fascinating than this. The Lebanese are hard to fully understand. I am not sure they even get it themselves… Below are some observations based on real-life experience. Believe me, these people are amazing, you just gotta love them!
You are Lebanese if…
…going to the beach does not involve swimming but rather drinking cocktails while standing by the bar in the pool, looking at others standing by the bar in the pool.
…you think wearing high heels, jewellery and bikini on an actual beach is perfectly normal.
…big dark sunglasses is a natural part of your nightclub outfit.
…leaving office early EVERY Friday to get your hair and nails done (matching hands and feet of course) is never questioned.
…when you receive shopping adds as messages on your mobile phone you read them and actually go to the shop the same day to check it out.
…it aint golden and shiny it aint good…
…a walk means walk to the car, while complaining about traffic.
…giving directions does not involve street name and number.
…you can’t help a foreigner who asks to point at where you are on a map, because you never saw the city from that perspective before.
…calling a taxi means calling Ahmed (not a company), and you actually wait for him in the rain to come pick you up.
…its ok for the taxi to drive a big circle around town, picking up other people, and letting them off before you, on the way to your own destination.
…you never even considered it an option to take the bus.
…you are doing your best convincing everyone else that taking the bus is not an option.
…you are shocked when a foreign blond girl tells you she actually took the bus AND arrived safely, and you almost die of heart attack when she says she might do it again.
…a foreigner has travelled and seen more of your country than yourself.
…your own part of the city or country is the most beautiful of all, always and under all circumstances.
…you take time off work to show your foreign friend “a very special place only I know about, it’s the best of all in Lebanon”.
…you love collecting gold membership VIP cards, and you actually use them.
…you are willing to pay extra for your own entrance, waiter, couch and blanket at the cinema, just to avoid watching the film together with “other people”.
…going out means 2 km of whatsapp messages in a specially created group called “Friday night”.
…you know how to buy “likes” and followers on Facebook.
…you take selfies every five minutes, and you post all of them on Facebook, expecting comments for each one of them, and you actually reply to each comment too (and like them of course).
…you own two selfie sticks, one for work and one for home, marked by your name and phone number if lost and found.
…a proper coffee is made of equal amounts of coffee and sugar.
…a meal of less than 10 different plates is “simple”.
…you keep filling your guest’s plate with more food, as you think a shaking head is a sign of modesty while the guest is really really really full (almost fainting).
…you add sugar syrup on top of the sweet bakery stuff which is itself actually made from pure sugar, since there are two walnuts there too.
…experiencing a man cooking and serving a nice meal is really really really special, a memory for life.
…the best manouchee/falafel/tabbouleh/fruits in the whole country is found just around the corner of YOUR house.
…having met once means you are best friends for ever, and when you invite them to your wedding years later its like you never were apart.
…you invite foreigners to dinner at your family home after having known them for just 5 minutes, and you are surprised if they don’t seem to believe you REALLY mean it.
…a guest is considered a family member already after stepping over the doorstep to the house.
…your mother has every right to ask your foreign friend about why she is not married and what was wrong with previous boyfriends, while giving “the serious look” meaning that “time is running out if you want to have children and if you don’t get married you are in trouble FOR EVER you know…”
…you start a conversation by asking “how are you” in 10 different ways, expecting 12 different replies, and then asking them to repeat answer 4 and 9 again.
…you in 10 different ways ask for permission to leave and then forgiveness for actually leaving at the end of the night.
…you almost get insulted if foreigners propose to pay when you eat out together, because a guest is a guest FOR EVER.